I have seen people do not like to be alone, well at least for an extended period. They are intimidated by aloneness and run away to find a crowd where they belong. Finding a ‘crowd’ is becoming one of the focal points of our day to day life. In the desperation of getting away from the aloneness, people even accept a crowd where, probably, they do not belong. This behavior of abhorring aloneness is hurting us all. Many a times we find ourselves in an improper group. There are many teenagers who find themselves in company of drug peddlers. Many corporate geniuses find themselves in company of unethical and dishonest. They are so afraid of going back to the aloneness that they accept it without any question.
So question is why are we so scared of aloneness? And the simple answer – we do not understand it. We have never tried to understand it and unless we understand it, we cannot accept it. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Osho has written in his book ‘Love, Freedom and Aloneness’ –
We are born alone, we live alone, and we die alone. Aloneness is our very nature, but we are not aware of it. Because we are not aware of it, we remain strangers to ourselves, and instead of seeing our aloneness as a tremendous beauty and bliss, silence and peace, at-easeness with existence, we misunderstand it as loneliness.
Indeed, we misunderstand it. I am a part of a group in my city where we meet once in a while and discuss on philosophy. In on such chapter, someone told me – there are three important ingredients for self development –
- Sat-sang – Company of True Friends
- Sat-guru – Company of True Guru (Teacher)
- Sat-shastra – Company of good books.
I have extended this principal to include the fourth, and probably the most important, component –
4. Aloneness – Company of SELF
Yes, you read it right. Aloneness is really a company of self. You must realize that you are never alone, and what you perceive to be alone is truly a company of self. You will never find a better friend to give you company than yourself. If you do not know this friend, or tried long to ignore him, now is the time to recognize and appreciate him. This is the path to self-discovery and self-realization.
However, you may not be able to employ the aloneness if you do not understand the difference between ‘positive’ aloneness and ‘negative’ loneliness. You may be sitting alone in an empty room but will not be lonely once you have yourself to give the company. However, you may be in company of 1000 friends but will still feel lonely. In the same book, Osho has further described –
Aloneness has a beauty and grandeur, a positivity; loneliness is poor, negative, dark, dismal.
Positivity is the most important quality of aloneness. It is the time to connect to self and by connecting to self you are trying to connect with almighty.
You may also like to read My success mantra .